To be continued.....

January 19, 2008

Due to the benefits that we have realized from the journaling of our adoption to date, we have decided to continue the process. However, we will be beginning a new blog site which can be found here.

For those of you getting off the train at this stop - thanks for following along with us. For those of you that continue to go with us - the fun is just beginning, so hang on!

Chris and Gina

Highlight of my week

January 11, 2008

I suppose that you all have concluded that we made it home safely. My apologies for the cone of silence. We really hit the ground running once we got home and haven't stopped. Here are the details of our departure/arrival: As you may or may not know we had a terrible time obtaining the US visa to come home with Dasha. This was the result of a lack of care for the details on the part of a stateside government employee. BTW, I drafted a scathing post which shall not be published due to my concern for my own reputation as a nice guy. I spent a couple of hours at the embassy on Friday awaiting confirmation of our immigration approval renewal. It never came and the embassy closed at noon. So I spent most of Friday afternoon and evening trying to get that settled. By the end of the night between the guys at the embassy, Jana with Lifeline, and myself - four different countries had been contacted. What a circus! All because somebody wouldn't send an email - rant off.

In the end, we received our visa on Saturday morning thanks to the goodness of an embassy dude that had pity on us. However, I did make the mistake of not purchasing a ticket for Dasha earlier in the week. I called early Saturday prior to getting the visa to find that the flight was overbooked. I settled on the fact that we didn't even have the visa so I would worry about this little detail after we had the visa in hand. By 11AM it was ticket time. So I called back and this time the sweet lady told me that even though the flight was overbooked, the average no-show number was 37, so we stood a good chance to get a ride. We bought it - less than 24 hours from our boarding time. Thank you God.

Sunday morning was coldy-cold. I was determined to be at the airport 3 hours prior to boarding to increase our odds of getting aboard. We made it on time, got our boarding passes and then began to wait for the boarding. We (obviously) made it on. There were several seats vacant. I ended up with a row all to myself. The kids were able to sit all together. So I invited my honey to come on back and spend the next 9 hours with me - and she did. As we were sitting on the taxiway waiting to take off, I leaned over to Gina and said, "I can't believe we pulled this off." She sweetly reminded me that we hadn't pulled anything off and we really didn't have anything to do with it. We escaped and it was good! Breath deeply now and just know that all is good - for now.

On to NYC. Now I had carefully rehearsed in my mind what it would be like to bring a child immigrant into the US through NY. I was wistfully imagining the symbolic - maybe traditional - nature of coming to the US through NY as so many immigrants have. Customs was a little confusing because the line choices were citizens and aliens. Well, we were both at the moment. We chose to all go through the alien line and just see what happened. It worked out OK. We approached the officer (who had a great Italian name) and began doing the deal. In my mind I was realizing of the significance of this moment and trying to hold it together - dude, you were Ukrainian over there and you are about to cross this line and then you will be American and how awesome is that! Do you have any idea what people have gone through, risked, paid, fought for in order to gain this? And you, you are about to get it for nothing. Isn't that cool! Needless to say, she was not savoring the moment. One reason might have been because it was a blistering 90 degrees at the desk. The heat was ON! We were all beginning to wither - including the officer whose uniform included a full turtleneck.

Well, I had had enough with the obliviousness of our new daughter so I said something like, "Dasha, this is it! This is the big moment. Once you crossed that line you became American! Isn't that cool?" She wasn't overly impressed, but she wasn't rude about it. But, the officer called me down. He kindly informed me that she didn't receive citizenship until he applied his little stamp (Doesn't that sound just like a "Ukrainian" ritual?). He said jokingly, "so be nice to me." He cut up with us a little while he was reviewing our documents. So finally (and kindly) he ceremonially did the deed. Oh, it was incredible. cu-chunk, cu-chunk. done! You're in, baby, and you are with us! Now I had come to expect by this point a roll of the eyes or an over-expressed sigh. Instead, we got a very appropriate, accented, szank you, sir. Hmmm, that was pleasant. Maybe it was because he was carrying a nine on his hip. Don't know, but I'll take it.

Left out a little (no pun (as you will see in a moment) intended)) detail. Back to Kiev in your collective minds - as we were waiting to board the flight out, these two "little people" came walking through to board with us. These were the smallest people I had ever seen. Extremely small features and squeaky Ukrainian voices. Obviously, they stood out. So the guy has on a Cirque de Soleil jacket on and I'm thinking - this guy could be in a circus. So I just had to ask - I know, I know that is so un-PC, but hey PC ain't too cool in Ukraine anyway. So I asked if they were with the Cirque? And guess what? They were and were delighted that I had asked. The told us all about where their shows were going to be and were really excited about the trip. Dasha was weirded out a little because she hadn't ever seen such a sight. We got her calmed down and convinced her to stop pointing and went on about our business. Well, we ran into them again in the customs office when we were getting fingerprinted. She asked if she could have her photo made with them. Innocent enough, but they won't allow such in the customs ward. Had to let that one slip away. These two performers are know as The Little Clown and Clowness in the new "Corteo" show beginning in February on the west coast.

So all that to say we made it home. It was midnight, but we made it home. Home, indeed. Doggone, its good to be home! Can't believe it.

Well moving along (because I'm a week behind) as expected, the week has been a little sketchy for many reasons. Mostly just adjustments to new life. We're pretty hard core right now trying to make life boring and forcing interaction between us. Very limited TV, computer, telephone and visitors. The two kids with the American accents had to go back to school on Tuesday. I had to go back to work on Monday. So we were trying to get a handle on what would unfold at home when "and then there were two" occurred. We did get some initial "foo", but overall the moods have been good. Only a few minor skirmishes over the computer, but we've evened it out on them all and its been generally accepted by all. The English has kind of come and gone and there are long silent spells, with pointing and grunting (which I completely understand to be a universal language which I use often in a pinch). And then came Thursday....

Thursday began at the unholy hour of 3AM. A-train told us all that he had BB practice at 4:30AM. I called bunk, but he stuck to his guns and so we made a date. I got that kid to school at 4:15 and guess what - not a soul to be found. In his defense, this has been a tough week with the jet lag, make up work and the quick turn around, despite all that we exchanged a few remarks and I ended up leaving him there around 5:30. Came home, cleaned up went back to McDonalds to get him some breakfast - just a kind gesture. Come to find out, practice was in the PM - duh!

The weather on Thursday was predicted to be harsh. I spent the day in LA working in the field. I didn't head back to our neck of the woods until 5 and that was when things were beginning to deteriorate. By the time I was a half hour from home the worst of it was very near home. I decided to pull over and wait things out. I called home to check on the family and Gina had them all rounded up in the bathroom. I was thinking about the conversation that we had with Dasha's Ukrainian family about natural disasters - tornadoes in particular - and how infrequent they occurred. Now we were home less than a week and we are in full up wall to wall severe weather coverage. I don't think anybody was panicked, but Dasha did ask Gina if I was still alive. Isn't that cute?

I made it home finally and no harm to life or property occurred near our home, but once I got there, guess who was the first one to open the door and hug my neck? Yep, it was Dasha. Something had happened to her. Not sure if she really was fearful for our lives or if she just wanted to beat the other two to the punch. Doesn't really matter to me, I'll take it.

Now this wasn't the highlight of which I have referred. After we had eaten some leftovers - and there are many because we haven't quite figured out how much food his new family will consume at one sitting - she started talking. This was not the normal short two or three word sentences, but a full our barrage of broken English. She was giving Austin "down the road" because she had wished him good night and he did not give any response. She was really on him - laughing and cutting up - "Every night I say 'Good Night, Ousten,' and he no wish me good night." Austin heard the commotion and came dragging back in - he did get up at 4 this particular morning - and he attempted to apply the good night hug to her and she wasn't going to have it. He pressed on and she finally accepted. It was a funny time and that was the highlight of my week. It was so good to see them cutting up with each other and showing affection.

I know that there are many hurdles left to scale but this was a little moment that I will treasure. We will look for the good in every situation and use that as a stepping stone to keep us moving forward.

BTW, I know that we haven't properly thanked all of you that helped take care of our business and pets and property while we were away, but we are so grateful for all the love. It is good to have friends and family. The house was so clean and warm and everything was so perfect when we arrived home that first night. We have done a good job of scattering belongings and luggage to mask any evidence that anyone was here while we were gone. It is good to be home!

Chris and Gina

Arrival Details

January 5, 2008

Our tentative plan for tomorrow is to arrive in Bham at 10:36 PM - Delta Flight 4753. Our first flight is overbooked. Please pray that we can get a seat. We'll be there early. Probably around midnight for you guys.

We finally received our visa this morning. Now that was no easy task.

Thanks to all that helped with that. Thanks to all that prayed for that.

Hope to see you tomorrow evening.

The Graces

Night on the town

January 4, 2007

Whoa! a lot has been going on since our last post. I remember Nichols telling me that trying to get home is like "The Great Escape." Dude, we've been right in the thick of it. We've been trying all week to get our visa to bring Dasha home. Monday and Tuesday were a loss because of the holiday. Wednesday was a loss because we we didn't realize that our daily window of opportunity was only from 10-12. So we finally got in yesterday. We all went. I was thinking what a wonderful opportunity this would for our kids to visit a US Embassy. Well, let's just say they were not impressed. I think it had a lot to do with the fact that there iPods were taken at the door. This was an integral part of my plan. We were now on our own to keep them occupied.

We got to our window and turned over what we had been given in exchange for a few forms to fill out. So I took on the task of working through the forms. The kids did what kids do - fidget and squirm and try to find something to do. We met another couple there (as you always do) from another state (Delaware in this case) also adopting. We exchanged our stories and it was a genuine pleasure. About half way through this process and a lady appears and tells us that our I-600 form had expired and that we would not be abel to get a visa. Oh my. It was a flagrant violation of our team rules and I thought I would have to sit the lady on the bench or through a flag or something. We had given her the form that our government had given us, but alas the electronic version of that form had not shown up (over a month later). Frustrating does not even begin to describe the feeling.

The kids said that the couple we met both gasped when she told us that. They began praying for us right then. We turned in what we could a paid the fee and hoped for the best. After we left, we immediately began to scramble to find out who dropped the ball on this one. Like Louis from the movie Casablanca, I already had a list of the usual suspects in my head. Fast forward to this morning and I have just learned that we will be receiving our visa this morning. I know that I've not described this event in a whole lot of detail, but I want to save some of your attention span for what we did last night.

So there are these orphan graduates here - Katya and Sonya. Some of you know them very well. Such sweet girls with so much potential. They are an absolute hoot! We spent some time with them over at the Casa de Underwood the other night and it was a lot of fun. They are helping out with the Music Mission Kiev. This is a group of people - Ukrainians and Canadians in this case - that hold concerts from time to time. These girls are helping with the translating for the Canadians. We had been interested in attending one of their performances and so the girls were able to get us some tickets. - the circus meets the symphony. Seven children, four parents and two orphanage graduates - the circus meets the symphony.

Our seats were (wisely) in the balcony and we were not really dressed for the occasion. But hey, when else could you do something like this? Our seats were not all together and so we had to choose which defensive scheme to run. This did not set well with some of the children - Ukrainians in particular, but after a little drama we ran the play. The program was both choral and instrumental. It was really nice. Our balcony seats also were not elevated so those of us not on the front row could not see the action downstairs.

Now you can imagine what kind of people attend such an event. Needless to say, there were not many families which multitudes of children. If you've ever been to a symphony concert you know what to expect. You will find some high brow folk well dressed and all proper. The good news is that most of those people had better seats at locations other than ours. However, across the way, I spied an older gentleman and his wife. Obviously not people of wealth, but those two were in the "groove," as it was. He looked like a kid listening to a lullaby and she looked like she was in prayer (and I think she might have been). Both of them looked so content - smiling and swaying - and I just sat there and wondered what there lives were like. I too enjoy "freshly prepared" music. Something about it makes me breath better. But a lot of my pleasure this night came from observing these two.

Our elder daughter did not quite fancy the event at first. She was very clear about her distaste for such events. But beside the couple which I was observing I noticed her. She had made her way to the edge of the balcony where she could see. She had wedged herself between two columns and was just watching intently. By the third or fourth song, she was actually clapping after the performances. I'm sure that her level of satisfaction with the performance was not even close to the couple I was watching, but hey, when was the last time she had a chance to attend such an event. By the end, she had taken the camera and was snapping up photos right and left. Not sure if that was a response to boredom or a genuine attempt to capture the moment.

So, we wrapped up and made it back to our flat. Ande made a pizza run and we finished it up with some Orange Fanta - what a night! BTW, not sure if Ande said anything about it over at his blog, but he had wanted a pepperoni pizza. What we ended up with was a pizza with pepper "on it." It was really good, though.

Continue to pray for us as we are trying to wrap things up and head home.

Love you guys,

The Graces

his is a post which Gina wrote which I failed to publish earlier this week. It was written the same day that I wrote "Everybody wants to go to Heaven." You can see through these words what the mood was that day. One response (from Superjenn Smith) to my blog involved the song Gina mentions in her blog. We were sitting at our little table here and this particular song came to our minds, also, prior the post that day. So I would say it is a fitting representation of the situation. Will try to make it available online..... cg


Mission Impossible???

December 31, 2007

To those of you who have been waiting to hear from me, I apologize..... mothering is a time consuming task, and I am not the gifted writer like my husband. I warn you before you read this, it is not going to be pretty. As a matter of fact, it will probably be quite messy. For me, trying to communicate all of what is floating around in my head might look like a bomb exploded words onto the screen. So, for those of you who are brave enough to follow... here we go.

God has been teaching me so many things on this journey. Mostly about myself and my inability to love. It's funny, I always thought I was pretty good at loving and being kind to others, but God is showing me my inability to TRULY love. Unless I rely on Him and His love to flow through me, I can end up causing more harm than good. It is easy to love those who love you back, and extremely difficult to love those who don't know how to love, and Dasha has not been taught how to love. The people that were suppose to love her have made some terrible life choices that landed her in the orphanage. But you see, Dasha is not the only one that has a love problem. I too am incapable. I must be taught by my Heavenly Father in the same way Dasha must be taught by us. God is putting me in a position to identify with Him and the suffering I cause Him when I reject and refuse to obey Him. We have a great task ahead of us that seems nearly impossible.

Orphanage life is a terrible situation. In a sense, we will have to deprogram everything Dasha has come to know and become dependent on. Then we have to reprogram her to our family life. This is exactly what God has to do with us if we want to be obedient to Him. She has to be taught how to use a washcloth because they don't have them at the orphanage. She has to be taught how to stay with us in a mall and not to walk away from us without permission. Can you imagine trying to find a lost child in a country where you don't even speak the language? She is a 3 yr. old trapped in a 13 yr old body. In a sense Chris and I have become "the bad guys" (in her mind). We tell her when to take a shower, because we care that "stink" has jumped on her. We tell her to stay with us, because we love her and don't want to loose her. We tell her she needs to change the channel on t.v. because what she is watching is filling her mind with negative things. No one has cared enough to teach her these things at the orphanage. All she knows are the things that are comfortable to her, and she misses the comfort (if you want to call it that) of the orphanage. She weeps and sobs because she misses it so much. She doesn't want to leave. She wants to go back to where she was. There is a song by Sara Groves that I connected with many years ago because of where God had me in life. It has continued to connect with my spirit because I am always on journey with Him. God reminded me of this song when I thought about Dasha and the place that she is in life. I think it describes her situation very well:

I don't want to leave here, I don't want to stay
It feels like pinching to me either way
The places I long for the most are the places where I've been
They are calling out to me like a long lost friend

It's not about loosing faith, it's not about trust
It's all about comfortable when you move so much
The place I was wasn't perfect, but I had found a way to live
It wasn't milk or honey, but then neither is this

The past is so tangible, I know it by heart
Familiar things are never easy to discard
I was dying for some freedom, but now I hesitate to go
I am caught between the promise and the things I know

Chorus
I've been painting pictures of Egypt
Leaving out what it lacks
The future feels so hard and I want to go back
But the places that use to fit me can not hold the things I've learned
And those roads were closed off to me while my back was turned

If it comes too quick, I may not appreciate it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand
If if comes too quick, I may not recognize it
It that the reason behind all this time and sand


So, we have been called as a family to journey with her, to teach and guide her through the dessert of life, because God wants her to reach the promise land (and I don't mean the good ol'
USA) No, I'm talking about a place that surpasses our country. This mission is difficult, complicated, and even risky at times; but God has assigned it to us. We will be obedient and trust
that He will provide and see us through this life long mission.

Gina

A Quick Note

January 4, 2008

This will be a quickie:

Today is Dasha's 14th birthday. We will go to the terminal (mall) to do some go carts and ice skating with Underwoods. Happy Birthday to Dasha!

Spent 2 1/2 hours at embassy again today trying to get visa. No luck. Can't get DHS to verify our renewed I-600. Guess they are all too busy enjoying the holidays!

Best case - visa tomorrow. Next best case - visa middle of next week. Worst case - we apply for residency/work visa from Ukraine. The Great Escape is on!

Not looking good for us all to come home on Sunday at this moment. Austin, Kirby and I will be home, regardless. Gina might end up staying for a few extra days next week. Will let you all know more once we do.

BTW, I quick bday wish in the form of a blog comment can be immediately seen by Dasha via Blackberry.

Blessings,

The Graces

Everybody wants to go to Heaven.

January 1, 2008

Today (Really yesterday b/c I'm writing early in the morning) we called the hail Mary play on our Embassy visit. Unfortunately, the ball got batted around in the end zone and eventually fell to the ground. This is a disappointing snag, but we will manage. This means that nobody is coming home today. I spent a very frustrating 2 hours on the phone with Delta negotiating a return date. Looks like Sunday is our date. Bad news is that it looks like we'll be returning pretty late that evening. We'll look into bumping up the ATL/BHM run, but I'm not very optimistic. Overall, I can't (and won't) complain about how things have gone. We are so close to getting home, I can almost taste it.

We are dealing with some pretty major grieving at the moment, so I'd ask that you guys please continue to pray that a vision for the future will be cast and clung to. We all know the statistics, but that cannot be explained to an emotional teenage girl. We were expecting this. I know that we will be fine. I was reading Mark and Jenn Smith's blog, www.mjadoptua.blogspot.com and ran across an article that she had posted about the "Brotherhood of Sons." In this article the author was giving a description of his family's adoption of two young boys from Russia and how some people were unintentionally offensive with some of their questions. So in the article he describes details of leaving the orphanage. He said the boys would shake in their arms from the fear of the unfamiliar. Things as simple as a car ride.

Now their orphanage was in dire condition. They were much younger than our girl and were left in their cribs most of the day to lie in their own waste. It sounded like a horrible life. The orphanage that our girl came from was relatively nice - no Ritz Carlton, but they did have a lot of media outlets such as TV, DVD's, MP3 players, computers, and each other. Not all bad, just unlike life is now. So back to the story - these two boys from Russia they were reaching back to the orphanage because it was familiar. It was all that they knew about life. The same is true with our girl. She is bored out her mind and very timid about trying anything knew. This is a trust issue that will take time and experience to overcome. She does not like Kyiv because it is so unfamiliar to her. She is scared. At this point the easy thing for her to do would be to go back "home" - that is the only home she has known for six years. She cannot even begin to imagine what life will be like in the US.

So here is a good lesson and some good imagery to take advantage of. Crowder sings a cover version of this old song called "Everybody Wants To Go To Heaven (But Nobody Wants to Die)." You may know it. As the Apostle John was writing his book of Revelation he was there. He was actually in Heaven (maybe only in spirit) observing the incredible things that Heaven is. Now today I read Revelation (rarely) and I just have to scratch my head at the descriptions and metaphors that he used. It looked like...... gates of pearl, streets of gold, ten horns here or there, tribes and elders.... you are familiar with all of this.

Now don't take this analogy too far. Our home is not going to be Heaven. Our kids don't surround us and worship us 24/7, we don't live in a mansion, and I don't emit light from the goodness of my being so if we don't pay the power bill, we sit in the dark. But this analogy is fitting. Death is a scary thing for most of us. We, as humans, are trying everything possible to live. We Americans spend billions every year on drugs and healthcare, trying to squeeze every minute possible out of this life. Why? To delay this home-going for as long as possible. We like it here. It is familiar and comfortable here for the most part. But we all want to go to Heaven, right?

Side note: The treasure of Heaven isn't found in all that "stuff" - gates, and gold and glam. It is simply to "be" in the presence of God, Himself. Would we all be disappointed if it turns out not to look like the set of a TBN program? What if it looks like a mud hut in the middle of Uganda? To be with Him, is that the root of our desire? End side note.

So this is where we find ourselves - somewhere between life as we know it and the promise of a better life which lies before us. Death is an unfamiliar thing that is necessary in order for us to enter into that promised land. We have been "reborn." We have new passports (and a permanent visa) with our new names written in them. God came to our land and went to court (and paid the ultimate expediting fee) and rescued us from a life of hopelessness in order that we might be called "sons and daughters."

Likewise, our new daughter is grieving the death of her former life and waiting for the promise of a better life ahead. Our challenge is to continue to encourage and guide her into this new life - to help her to look forward with hope and to find a place for us all to put our collective past. This is no easy task and we knew that going into it. It is really amazing to see how these children react to the new environment and the families which want so desperately to love them. So please continue to pray with us that this transition will be smooth. We know and appreciate the prayers and support that you have offered thus far.

The Graces