Everybody wants to go to Heaven.

January 1, 2008

Today (Really yesterday b/c I'm writing early in the morning) we called the hail Mary play on our Embassy visit. Unfortunately, the ball got batted around in the end zone and eventually fell to the ground. This is a disappointing snag, but we will manage. This means that nobody is coming home today. I spent a very frustrating 2 hours on the phone with Delta negotiating a return date. Looks like Sunday is our date. Bad news is that it looks like we'll be returning pretty late that evening. We'll look into bumping up the ATL/BHM run, but I'm not very optimistic. Overall, I can't (and won't) complain about how things have gone. We are so close to getting home, I can almost taste it.

We are dealing with some pretty major grieving at the moment, so I'd ask that you guys please continue to pray that a vision for the future will be cast and clung to. We all know the statistics, but that cannot be explained to an emotional teenage girl. We were expecting this. I know that we will be fine. I was reading Mark and Jenn Smith's blog, www.mjadoptua.blogspot.com and ran across an article that she had posted about the "Brotherhood of Sons." In this article the author was giving a description of his family's adoption of two young boys from Russia and how some people were unintentionally offensive with some of their questions. So in the article he describes details of leaving the orphanage. He said the boys would shake in their arms from the fear of the unfamiliar. Things as simple as a car ride.

Now their orphanage was in dire condition. They were much younger than our girl and were left in their cribs most of the day to lie in their own waste. It sounded like a horrible life. The orphanage that our girl came from was relatively nice - no Ritz Carlton, but they did have a lot of media outlets such as TV, DVD's, MP3 players, computers, and each other. Not all bad, just unlike life is now. So back to the story - these two boys from Russia they were reaching back to the orphanage because it was familiar. It was all that they knew about life. The same is true with our girl. She is bored out her mind and very timid about trying anything knew. This is a trust issue that will take time and experience to overcome. She does not like Kyiv because it is so unfamiliar to her. She is scared. At this point the easy thing for her to do would be to go back "home" - that is the only home she has known for six years. She cannot even begin to imagine what life will be like in the US.

So here is a good lesson and some good imagery to take advantage of. Crowder sings a cover version of this old song called "Everybody Wants To Go To Heaven (But Nobody Wants to Die)." You may know it. As the Apostle John was writing his book of Revelation he was there. He was actually in Heaven (maybe only in spirit) observing the incredible things that Heaven is. Now today I read Revelation (rarely) and I just have to scratch my head at the descriptions and metaphors that he used. It looked like...... gates of pearl, streets of gold, ten horns here or there, tribes and elders.... you are familiar with all of this.

Now don't take this analogy too far. Our home is not going to be Heaven. Our kids don't surround us and worship us 24/7, we don't live in a mansion, and I don't emit light from the goodness of my being so if we don't pay the power bill, we sit in the dark. But this analogy is fitting. Death is a scary thing for most of us. We, as humans, are trying everything possible to live. We Americans spend billions every year on drugs and healthcare, trying to squeeze every minute possible out of this life. Why? To delay this home-going for as long as possible. We like it here. It is familiar and comfortable here for the most part. But we all want to go to Heaven, right?

Side note: The treasure of Heaven isn't found in all that "stuff" - gates, and gold and glam. It is simply to "be" in the presence of God, Himself. Would we all be disappointed if it turns out not to look like the set of a TBN program? What if it looks like a mud hut in the middle of Uganda? To be with Him, is that the root of our desire? End side note.

So this is where we find ourselves - somewhere between life as we know it and the promise of a better life which lies before us. Death is an unfamiliar thing that is necessary in order for us to enter into that promised land. We have been "reborn." We have new passports (and a permanent visa) with our new names written in them. God came to our land and went to court (and paid the ultimate expediting fee) and rescued us from a life of hopelessness in order that we might be called "sons and daughters."

Likewise, our new daughter is grieving the death of her former life and waiting for the promise of a better life ahead. Our challenge is to continue to encourage and guide her into this new life - to help her to look forward with hope and to find a place for us all to put our collective past. This is no easy task and we knew that going into it. It is really amazing to see how these children react to the new environment and the families which want so desperately to love them. So please continue to pray with us that this transition will be smooth. We know and appreciate the prayers and support that you have offered thus far.

The Graces